In an upset, South Korea defeated World
Cup holders Germany 2-0 in a final match of Group F in Kazan on June 27th
2018, knocking them out of the tournament. The following is an imagined
post-match rant by a South Korean commentator adapting the infamous tirade by
Norwegian commentator Bjorge Lillelien after Norway beat England 2-1 in a World
Cup qualifier in Oslo in 1981.
“We
are the best in the world! We are the best in the world! We have beaten Germany
2-0 in football!! We have beaten Germany! Germany, birthplace of Teutones
giants.
“Otto,
Prince of Bismarck, Paul von Hindenburg, Helmut Kohl, Helmut Schmidt, Konrad
Adenauer, Max Schmeling, Marlene Dietrich – we have beaten them all. We have
beaten them all!
“Angela
Merkel, can you hear me? Angela Merkel, I have a message for you in the middle
of your coalition crisis. I have a message for you: We have knocked Germany out
of the football World Cup.
“Angel
Merkel, as they say in your language in the boxing bars around Boxhalle in
Munich: Your boys took a hell of a beating! Your boys took a hell of a beating!”
©
Adeyinka Makinde (2018)
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